Let’s start with your “who gives a crap” info for the day…Kenny G showed up at the VMA’s…That takes us to Opening Audio where you have to know how to tell your kids they suck at something…We will get to that…But first…What a move…A man hired a mariachi band to come to the house after he caught his partner cheating…It played the whole time his partner was moving out…A screaming goat had people thinking that a woman was being murdered…The neighbors called 911…It’s time to try something new lumpy lungs…We listened to a kid who butchered Sweet Child O’ Mine on the trumpet…A man was arrested after he was cut off at an open bar at a wedding and roundhouse punched the bride…An 87-year-old New Yorker says he fought off suspects who tried to steal his $48,000 Rolex…Family members of a four-year-old boy say he was bitten while playing in a sandbox at an Alexander County, North Carolina daycare…Two People Got Big Payments From Jeffrey Epstein And The DOJ Wants Their Names To Remain Sealed…Ellen DeGeneres is now known as “Eli”. A source says, “Eli is lighter, freer, and finally living without the weight of carrying a billion-dollar brand…Two women accused of swiping thousands of dollars in merchandise from a TJ Maxx in Massachusetts were busted as they tried to order food in the drive-thru line of a nearby Wendy’s…An Orange County woman is charged for illegally registering her dog to vote in the 2021, 2022 elections…One of the more unusual industries to appear in Japan in recent years is the rent-a-person business. There were the rent-a-middle-aged-dude and rent-a-sister services we tried out, for example, and now comes a new innovation: a company that will let you rent a “fat” person…Kristin Cabot, the woman seen with the Astronomer CEO in the Coldplay ‘Kiss Cam’ saga, files for divorce from her husband…Couple arrested on accusation of ‘hot-boxing’ in car with 2-year-old boy in the backseat…Brazilian football star Neymar Jr. has been named the heir to a $1.14 billion fortune by a billionaire he never met…Butter up Roseanne Barr and listen to this Monday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!